The best part? If one twin is not around, he’d frantically call for the other to come join him, then prod him to say those words that just make my heart melt.

And may they never tire of this ritual. Amen.

Children Learn What They Live (1959)

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn . . .
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight . . .
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive . . .
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself . . .
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy . . .
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilt . . .

BUT

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient . . .
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident . . .
If a child lives with , he learns to be appreciative . . .
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love . . .
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is . . .
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice . . .
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him . . .
If a child lives with friendlienss(sic), he learns the world is a nice place in which to live . . .

WITH WHAT IS YOUR CHILD LIVING?

Dorothy L. Law

This reminds me of the time our family went to New Zealand in June 2011. DH decided on a whim to take the kids to a walk at Hooker Valley in Mount Cook National Park. The walk started off innocently enough but increasingly became tougher, especially the last few meters to the second swinging bridge.

But the children and I stubbornly plodded on…step by painful step…up steep rock formations…

The last few meters to the second swinging bridge, Hooker Valley Walk, Mount Cook National Park, New Zealand

…and were eventually rewarded with this view:-

The reward that awaited us at the second swinging bridge, Hooker Valley Walk, Mount Cook National Park, New Zealand.

I know there’s something wonderful waiting for me at the end of this current ordeal. All I have to do is to remain patient, stay strong, and take things slowly — one long, slow, painful step at a time.

“So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.”

Ultrasound image of the twins at 12 weeks old. The fetuses are marked with the numbers ’1′ and ’2′.

1. Same Old, Same Old. For most of the time when I was pregnant with the twins, I felt pretty much the same way as I did in my previous pregnancies. I also had ‘morning sickness’ except that the waves of nausea would attack me when dusk sets in, or as the Malays say “bila dah nak Maghrib“. In comparison, with MyEldest, it was ‘all-day sickness’; with OnlyGirl and RoundBoy, I was blissfully free of it. Whereas I depended on Slurpee to combat the nausea with MyEldest, with my twin pregnancy, I was hooked on mee hoon tomyam — rice noodles swimming in a spicy-sweet-sour Thai broth.

2. Risky Business. After the initial euphoria of finding out at 6 weeks that I was carrying twins, reality finally started sinking in. My gynaecologist/obstetrician Dr Z wasted no time in informing me that she would be monitoring me a lot more than usual. Apparently, multiple pregnancies — i.e. pregnancies where more than one baby is involved — are considered high-risk pregnancies. There was the risk of conjoined twins a.k.a. Siamese twins had they shared a common sac; luckily they had separate sacs despite being identical twins. There was the risk of one twin hogging all or most of the blood flow from the placenta, a possibility that was ruled out after several checkups, one of which involved a detailed scan. There’s also the risk of preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, placental abruption, the babies not gaining enough weight, and pre-term labour.  At some point, I made the decision to stop reading about all the things that could go wrong because there were just far too many possibilities!

3. The Beached Whale That Kept Getting Bigger. I’ve always had big babies and the twins were no exception. And this development gave me such a big headache in the wardrobe department. Way back then, there weren’t many boutiques specializing in maternity clothes that were fashionable enough to be worn for work. In addition to the limited selection, sizing was another pressing issue — I had to buy bigger and bigger clothes every few weeks during the second and third trimester. I started with size M and worked my way to XL, perhaps even XXL.

I had the foresight to take two photos of me with my tummy in profile — one at 24 weeks and another one at 35 weeks — and it’s only now that I can see just how ginormous my belly was. By the time I was 7 months pregnant, my belly already resembled that of a full-term pregnancy; just imagine how big it was at 35 weeks! I felt like a beached whale and probably looked like one.

My twins were huge by twin standards, by the way: at birth, Twin1 was 3.15 kg; Twin2 weighed 2.85kg. Their shared placenta weighed 1kg. That meant a total of 7 kg in my belly, not taking into account yet the weight and space taken up by extra water and blood circulating in my system!

4. Discomfort. Owing to the enormity of my belly, getting out of bed was a major challenge by the third trimester. I had to be helped out of bed towards the end of my pregnancy. I had to sleep on my side and I needed innumerable pillows in order to find some semblance of comfort. Leg cramps came and went as they did in my other pregnancies. Let’s not even start talking about the back pain!

5. What Belly Button? I’ve always taken pride that I had very minimal and hardly noticeable stretch marks with my first three pregnancies. All this ended with the twins: my belly was so distended that my belly button was stretched out flat; the skin of my entire belly was stretched so taut until tiny red ‘crack’ lines appeared. My skin itched like hell and no cream in the world could give me comfort and to my despair, Dr Z, who never minced words, told me point-blank, “The only cure is for you to give birth.” Post-twin pregnancy, suffice to say that I’d make an excellent candidate for a tummy tuck, if a free one ever came my way.

6. The Nerve! Somehow the twins’ position literally affected my nerves, resulting in numbness in my fingertips for many, many months. Dr Z told me I should consider myself lucky; she said that one of her patients (who also had twins) had temporary partial facial paralysis. Again, Dr Z gave me the very reassuring line: “The only cure is for you to give birth.” The numbness lasted a couple of months after giving birth, by the way.

7. Early Birds. It turns out that multiples like to make their entrance early. Dr Z and I expected preterm labour…but never quite expected the first signs to show up as early as 24 weeks. By the 24th week of my pregnancy, I started having contractions. Strong ones. Real ones. Not Braxton Hicks, no sirree. Dr Z gave me medicine to take daily to prevent such contractions and gave me strict instructions to have complete bed rest. So from 24 weeks, I took time off from work and stayed at home, resting most of the time, pining for the outside world and the freedom of driving myself, small liberties that were deemed impossible by my condition. But such patience paid off because I managed to carry the twins up to 36 weeks, quite a feat for a multiple pregnancy.

In summary, it’s not easy to be pregnant with twins. And that’s an understatement. So now you can understand why, when people would gush about how “nice” it must be to have twins, I’d always reply that I’d never wish a twin pregnancy for anyone, knowing fully well the dangers, risks and difficulties that it involves.

Anyway, I did broach the subject to the twins on several occasions to test the waters, so to speak.  Each attempt was met with violent opposition from them both, especially from Twin2 who’d vehemently declare,  “Adik tak nak jadi abang! (I refuse to become an older brother!).”

My very own Upin & Ipin -- Twin2 on the left, Twin1 on the right.

So you can just imagine how I almost fell off the driver’s seat tonight when, as we were driving to N’s house to see her newborn baby, Twin2 suddenly announced out of nowhere, “Dah lama kitorang takde adik!” (Literally: ‘It has been a long time since we’ve had a younger sibling’ — a form of statement that the twins usually make when what they actually want to say is ‘We never. . .’ as in saying “Dah lama kitorang tak pergi Switzerland” instead of saying “Kitorang tak pernah pergi Switzerland“)

As if on cue, Twin2 added, “A-ah! Abang nak jadi ‘Abang Abang’, Adik akan jadi ‘Abang Adik’!” (Yes! I want to be ‘Big Big Brother’,  Little Brother will be ‘Little Big Brother’!”)

I have no idea how this story will end. In fact, I did not even mean to put up this post just yet. But fate somehow intervened, making me click on “Publish” instead of “Save”. So help me God!

“First, you open up your head, then you open your skull, then you open your brain, then you take out the song. And then you pasang balik (put it all back together)!”

My twin boys, the joy of my life :)

So I took him and Twin2 to the nearest indoor (read: rain-proof) urban refuge — Suria KLCC Shopping Centre, the mall that lies at the base of the Petronas Twin Towers.

After munching on some pretzels, picking out their Transformers action figures, watching a Chinese acrobatic show at Suria KLCC Concourse, topped with a late lunch at Mandarin Oriental KL (thanks to DH, who was having a business meeting there), there were no more tears, only ear-to-ear grins.

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Twin1 (left) and his younger brother (by 15 minutes), Twin2

I was driving one evening, with the twins sitting in the backseat. Out of the blue, Twin1 blurted out a question that totally caught me by surprise.

Abang: Mama, bila kita nak ada swimming pool? (Mama, when are we going to have a swimming pool?)

Adik: A-ah!

Me: Umm…we don’t have enough money for a swimming pool lah. Sebab tu Mama kena pergi Jakarta selalu — untuk cari duit. (That’s why Mama has to go to Jakarta frequently — to look for money <i.e. to earn money>.)

(A few seconds of silence)

Abang: Abang tak nak swimming pool lah! (I don’t want a swimming pool!)

Me: Kenapa? Sebab Abang tak nak Mama pergi Jakarta? (Why? Because you don’t want me to go to Jakarta?)

Abang: A-ah.

Adik: Alaa…Adik nak swimming pool sebab Adik nak cannonball. Abang! Nanti Mama boleh beli apa-apa. (But I want a swimming pool because I want to make like a cannonball when I dive into the water. Big Brother! If Mama goes there, she can buy us all sorts of things.)

Abang: Abang tak nak Choki-Choki. Abang tak nak Nyam Nyam. Abang nak Mama je. (I don’t want <brand names of food stuff from Indonesia>. I only want Mama.)

A few days later, I asked him if he wants a swimming pool. He answered: “Tak nak! Sebab swimming pool tak best!” (I don’t want one. Because swimming pools are not nice.)

Now you know why I haven’t been to Jakarta for quite some time now…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Postscript: “Antara Mama Dan Jakarta” — which means ‘between Mama and Jakarta’ — is a wordplay on the title of a song called “Antara Anyer dan Jakarta“, popularised by Malaysian jazz queen, Sheila Majid.

The twins 'reading' together (in this photo: one of my Tintin comic books in French)

On The Brain

A few weeks ago, the twins picked out a book about the skeletal system from the National Library. I’ve read it to them a couple of times, simplifying the explanation as much as possible. At one time, I saw them poring over the book while having this discussion.

Twin2: Abang, yang ni skull. (Big brother, this is the skull.)

Twin1: A-ah. Dalam skull ada brain. (Yes. Inside the skull is the brain.)

Twin2: Kena careful kan? Nanti, kalau skull pecah, brain boleh terkeluar. (We must be careful, right? Because if the skull gets broken, the brain might get exposed.)

Twin1: A-ah. Nanti tak boleh fix. (Yes. And when that happens, it can’t be fixed anymore.)

Nasi lemak with ikan bilis

On The Origins Of Anchovies

We were having nasi lemak at home the other day. Nasi lemak is rice cooked with coconut milk and served with — at its most basic — hard-boiled eggs, ikan bilis (crispy fried anchovies), and sambal (chili). While munching on the ikan bilis, Twin2 suddenly turned to me with a thoughtful look on his face.

Twin2: Mama, ikan bilis is baby tadpoles (sic), right?

RoundBoy attempting the waterslide in 2007

On Fear

Yesterday, DH and I took the children to the swimming pool, where RoundBoy expressed regret over previously being afraid of the waterslide.

RoundBoy: Mama, when I was small, like when I was 6 or 7, I was scared of the water slide. But not anymore. I just realised how much fun I’ve been missing just because I was scared!

Great insight from an 8-year old, don’t you think?

I hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Twin2: Innocence Personified

I can write this post on the pretext of discussing the merits of the inexpensive Nikkor 50mm f/1.8D prime lens. After all, it’s a very affordable lens (list price is RM468 — around US$138 — but it can be had for just a little over RM300); it’s lightweight; it’s wonderful for low-light situations (as long as you have a steady hand); and it gives that nice, blurred effect in the backgrounds of portraits called bokeh in photo-geekspeak.

But I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m posting this photo because I want to remember how my baby (Twin2) sleeps with his clasped hands tucked under his chubby little cheek, a habit that started some 3 or 4 months ago, something which none of his siblings ever did.

I love how this photo captures the adorable little uptilt at the tip of his nose, his cupid lips, the way his shoulder gets slightly raised as he curls up under the covers. I love how this photo captures his sweet innocence.

I also love the dreamy look of this photograph — straight out of the camera, no editing whatsoever other than resizing and the addition of my site’s URL. And I have to give credit to the Nikkor 50mm f/1.8D lens for helping me achieve this effect.

But I’m posting this for posterity not because of the lens but because I want to remember Twin2 this way for years and years to come.

I love you, baby.

P.S. And just so you know, the photo on top is one of 12 shots that I took within minutes of each other. This is how I learn to be better at photography — I shoot and shoot and shoot…then I pick out the photo that conveys exactly what I had in mind. Well…that, plus the fact that I’m kind of a perfectionist when it comes to my work ;)

Happy birthday, Abang & Adik!

You turn 4 years old today. How is it possible for my twin babies to have outgrown babyhood in so short a time?

I miss feeling the two of you fighting for space when you two were still inside my tummy.

I miss watching the two of you crawl up to me every time feeding time would come around.

I miss nursing the two of you simultaneously for one whole blissful year (and having lost so much weight in the process!).

I miss calling the two of you “twin babies”.

Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up… Please?

Love always,
Mama