(Sunrise over Mina)
I miss lying down on the cold, hard ground under a mute, starless sky, waking up at midnight to find myself staring at a moon that looked as though it’s been cut perfectly in half.
I miss sleeping in a tent with total strangers, six of whom became very close friends in the end, one of whom became akin to a sister.
I miss walking in the footsteps of learned men, as millions have also done time and again, thousands of years before I even existed.
I miss feeling hopelessly lost in a swirling sea of humanity — all of us different, yet all the same.
I miss finding the most unexpected silence enshrouding me like a blanket in the midst of utter chaos.
I miss being overwhelmed by emotions so strong, it took all of my strength (and so much more) not to get swept away.
I miss the countless hours of inexplicable solitude, complete calm, intense humility, profound gratitude, pure bliss, and total surrender.
I miss the unbidden, uninhibited, yet strangely comforting, seemingly endless flow of tears.
I miss the magic hours of the last third of cold, cold nights spent in silent devotion.
I miss the nearly tangible and almost palpable proximity to the Source and Meaning of it all.
And I hope and pray with all my heart and from the very depths of my soul to find myself back in that magical place again. And again. And again.
Tags: reminiscing
January 30th, 2010 at 02:57
You’ve made me miss it too, and I’ve never been there. Beautiful writing.
January 30th, 2010 at 06:29
I love the feelings you have shared in this post. Beautiful!
January 30th, 2010 at 07:38
I feel it too, Mimi and you have eloquently expressed what we all miss.
January 30th, 2010 at 17:24
your photograph invokes very strong emotions as well. the most beautiful of all writings is about that is most passionately felt. love it!
January 31st, 2010 at 17:13
Straight from the heart. I will never forget that tweet of yours about being under the stars.
February 1st, 2010 at 18:56
Love your soliloquy. Reminds me of happy times in the past.
February 2nd, 2010 at 00:37
Mimi, you have another Lola on your site :D It is two of us now. Anyways. the sky is amazing!!! We had pretty amazing sunset and sunrise in Denver for past 2 days. Husband was upset he couldn’t get to photograph them. I am going to show him your picture, and tease him even more :D
February 3rd, 2010 at 12:54
Jessi: That comment just blew me away. Thank you :)
Sheng, Lola, Odette: I did my best put into words everything that I felt. From your replies, I guess I was successful in making you feel the way I felt.
WitsAndNuts: Ah yes. The tweet that I sent that night was worth every cent I paid for the internet GPRS connection!
Blogusvox: Would be nice to hear *your* story.
HiLola: Don’t freak out now…but ‘Lola’ in the Philippines means ‘grandmother’ hehe. The other Lola is my mother. I’m Mama to the kids; she’s Lola to them.
That sunset photo is not so sharp because (i) it’s cropped from a larger photo, (ii) I shot it while walking, and (iii) I was using a Nikon Coolpix point-and-shoot camera. So I had to tweak it a bit with Photoshop to make the sun’s rays more prominent. And I had to post a smaller version so that the graininess won’t show hehe.