I’m off to Jakarta again today. The bigger kids are used to the routine by now and don’t seem to mind one bit. In fact, they even look forward to having their Lola sleep over for two nights.
As for the twins, I also told them Mama will be in Jakarta and that Lola will be sleeping with them. Naturally, they said ‘okay’ like they always do when I tell them that Mama has to go to work. But what was I expecting? They’re just two-year olds who have no understanding of distance. Two-year olds who will still call for their mama for comfort when they wake up in the wee hours of the night…
So it came as no surprise when I found myself, once again, torn deep inside when I dropped off the twins at their playschool this morning. I had to restrain myself from running after Twin1 as he rushed to join his friends in the see-saw. I was smiling and waving as I watched Twin2 go up the stairs all by himself so confidently (holding on to the banister, as I’ve always taught him) but, deep down, I was crying.
How I wish I never have to leave my children while they’re still small and so dependent on me… How I wish I can just keep on holding them…
Why doesn’t parting ever get any easier?
Your post tore my heart.
i managed to see the twins before i left for the airport and i felt so much better.
but i was literally holding back the tears while typing the post!
it never gets any easier i think. :(
It will never get easier i guess, even when they are older