“Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.”

I love flowers.

And I love my Nikon D40.

And how I love the way my Nikon D40 makes everything look good.

My Nikon D40 makes even the humblest flower look amazing — just like these white chrysanthemums, which are just about the cheapest flowers one can buy from a flower stall in KL these days.

Nikon should be paying me for my constant plug about their products! :P

Ladies and gentlemen, please return to your seats and keep your seatbelts securely fastened. The use of the lavatories is prohibited at this time.

There’s nothing like turbulence to make you re-think your life, especially when it lasts for minutes that seem like hours. You are jolted with the realization of your mortality and how your life can end in an instant. And you wish that you never watched any of those “Anatomy Of A Plane Crash” documentaries on Discovery Channel.

A million thoughts flash through your mind in an instant.

Am I ready to face my Creator?

What was the last thing I said to my parents, my children, my spouse, my friends?

You start to pray, your knuckles turning white as you grip the handrests. Your imagination starts to riot. Well…at least, mine did.

The office can go on without me. But the children….oh, pity the children. But statistically, a plane ride is said to be safer than a car ride. But what if I end up as just another statistic? Why, oh, why did I ever go to Bangkok?

Then out of the blue: If the plane crashes, will my D40 survive the impact? Will the rescuers manage to extract photos from my SD card?

Ack! What will they think?

I took photos of people sleeping in the back of an overloaded pickup truck in Jakarta.

A weed that looks like an evergreen tree. (Oh, how I love my 18-135mm lens!)

On a more sombre note, since I dropped off the twins to playschool this morning, I was running late for my 10.40 flight to Bangkok.

I had everything planned this morning and actually had a lot of time to spare (the bigger kids were all in school before 8), except that we got sidetracked by four yellow butterflies that decided to visit our garden. The twins squealed with delight when DH managed to catch one with a small net that we normally use to catch the fish when we want to clean the fish pond. Of course, we let the butterfly go after a while.

So like I said, we got sidetracked by the butterflies and it threw everything off schedule.

8:45 - dropped twins at playschool

8:50 - filled up on petrol

9:00 - stuck in traffic near Cheras

Keep in mind that my flight’s at 10.40. And I’m supposed to check in at 9.40! And since my assistant and I are taking AirAsia, we have to go to LCCT (Low Cost Carrier Terminal), which is like another 10-15 minutes from KLIA (KL International Airport).

By the time we got on the new Putrajaya/KLIA highway, I just closed my eyes and tried to ignore the speed at which we were going.

A morbid thought crept into my mind. If I die now, I can just imagine the twins trying to wake me up (Bangun, Mama!), like they usually do when they wake up before I do. I can imagine MyEldest trying to explain to them that Mama is never going to wake up again. I can imagine my only girl and RoundBoy crying their hearts out, with RoundBoy gently touching my face with his chubby little hands, like he always does when we’re lying down side by side.

God knows what’s best for all of us and I have absolute trust and faith in Him…but I hope and pray that my children need never go through this scenario before they are even old enough to understand what is happening.

Postscript:
I survived the car ride BTW. And managed to check in at 9.50. I’m writing down this draft at the back of the printout of our hotel confirmation, while waiting for boarding. My assistant is wondering what urgent letter I could possibly be drafting at this very moment.

Ya, ya, I know, I know. I should go earlier next time :P

The twins achieved a major milestone today — they didn’t cry at all when I sent them to playschool this morning, on my way to the airport. Normally, they’d cry and scream and cling at whatever part of my (or DH’s) clothing they can hold on to, something that they don’t do when other people send them, so I ended up just asking the driver and the maid to send them in the mornings.

Today, as we went through our normal routine whenever we’re in the car — with me pointing out objects and the twins naming them — I slowly started my ‘pep talk’ about how Mama has to go to work while they go to school.

Mama pergi work, Abang dan Adik pergi school. (Mama will go to work, Big Brother and Little Brother will go to school.)

Nak nak! (Tak nak! - I don’t want to!)

Nanti Mama balik, boys pun balik. (Later, Mama will go home, you boys will also go home.)

Silence.

I dropped the subject and turned their attention to a big lorry (big yoyi), a Nescafé billboard (kopi Abah), a red car (wed kah). Their vocabulary is just amazing, as is the way they associate certain things with certain people, such coffee with their father, cameras with me ;)

We finally reached their playschool. Incidentally, the other children were all running around the front yard.

Twin 2: “Lawi!” (Lari - Run)

Twin 1: “Tunggu!” (Wait)

And with that, they wriggled out of my arms and ran off to join their friends. They did not even look back at me.

I felt a lump in my throat and tears forming at the corners of my eyes. My babies are no longer babies. I’m happy they’ve finally adjusted to playschool, but at the same time, heart-broken that they walked away from me with nary a second thought.

Now I know what they mean when they say having kids is like “having your heart go walking around outside your body.”